What's important in life? We all could make a list and know immediately what matters the most. But when we make mistakes, we are left to see what and who gets impacted. There was always this internal struggle for me - it had to do with the fact that I love to gamble.

Gambling destroys life. It picks away at your priorities because a gambler in action cannot be true to themselves or to what is most important. Gambling isn't on my list of priorities but it always managed to interfere with whatever plans I had to live my life without gambling. So much money and so much time was wasted on a pastime which does nothing except bring pain and anguish, yet so many people, like me, are compulsive gamblers. The addiction has a way of taking over a rational mind and leaves a person dumbfounded about their own behavior. Most non gamblers would be very surprised to know how many smart, savvy people end up lost in the throws of an addiction which is insidous and self destructing.

During my years of gambling, I knew what I was doing was dangerous and it often left me questioning my own sanity. Surely I did not do it again, did I? There were thousands of times I swore I would not go back and play those damn slot machines. Yes, I kept doing it, over and over again, making the same bad decisions, regretting my actions and feeling lost and confused.

Its so hard to look at my family and know the financial hardships are a direct result of my gambling. We could have been on easy street and i put us in a situation where nothing is easy when it comes to finances. And my family is my first priority - so what in the hell was I thinking?

I am a moderator on a gambling recovery board where I see people come and go. It's so interesting to note that when a new person joins the recovery group, all the existing members can relate because we all shared such similar experiences. You see, gambling is like an alcohol or drug addiction - its about getting your fix, its about being controlled my feelings and emotions tied to gambling. I can spot a compulsive gambler easily- they live a life of frustration and pain, and many often reach a point where they just exist in life because its all a big mess. Gambling takes away the ability to live normally when you reach a point where it has become the priority, even though its not on a person's list of priorities in life.

As I continue in recovery, I must remind myself everyday what matters most and even through I get urges to gamble, I won't let it sneak up on me and take a place on my list of priorities. Gambling is not something I can control if I'm in a casino, so I don't go to casinos anymore. I limit my access to money because if I think I have some extra money, the first thing that pops into my mind is a slot machine.

I would ask each person who has a gambling problem to make a list of priorities in life and to keep the list with them. When the urges to gamble hit, read the list and remember what happens to your priorities when you gamble. The internal struggle is hard to fight but its worth the effort.

If we don't try we won't succeed, but why not try to live
without gambling?
The only thing worse than failure, is not trying.

Priorities can make a difference, if you will let them.
Love and peace to all who still struggle with this horrible disease known as compulsive gambling.

And so today, I will not gamble.
In recovery,
Marina

Success is not a measure of our failures, but rather how we address them.

Smelling like an ashtray and feeling like an idiot- another sure sign of a compulsive gambler.

There are some things I don’t miss about gambling. These include going home and smelling like I had spent the last 8 hours in a cigarette den. Even worse, was the feeling of being a total idiot and falling victim to the gaming industry, yet again.

How much money do gamblers have to lose before they learn the lesson? I know, I know, it’s not all about the money when people have a gambling problem. In my opinion, the money is part of it. You want to go back and try to win it again. You hate knowing you lost and question how you make up for the mess you created this time. How will you pay bills? How will you cover the check you wrote because the money is long gone – in the machine that did nothing for you except keep you putting more money in, with the hopes of hitting a big jackpot.

Gambling is a very dangerous pastime. It becomes a habit where you get hooked – who doesn’t love to be in an environment where the band is playing, the drinks are free, and no one in the place gives a shit about reality because the casino is the land of escape. Don’t believe gambling is about entertainment. Well maybe we could call it warped entertainment. Gambling is about excitement and risk; it is about entering a world where you don’t deal with reality until the gambling episode is over, then you pay another price. The personal and emotional price.

It is about losing your money and losing yourself when you become a compulsive gambler. You will lose both.

Gambling will take more from a person than just their money. Don’t fall prey to the gimmicks or advertisements that tout casinos as some kind of free, wonderful place, to eat and have fun. Casinos are designed to make money and if you gamble, you will lose.

Casinos are suffering a bit these days. They aren’t making the same revenues as a few years ago. People have less expendable income. But you better believe those who are addicted are still gambling and they will keep doing it until life becomes unmanageable and unbearable.

Because compulsive gambling is an addiction, it must be taken seriously. People may lose money and lose self –respect, but never doubt it can get so bad, people will lose their lives because of it.

And so today, I will not gamble. Thoughts and prayers go out to all those who suffer with this addiction.
In recovery,
Mimi
Nothing in life is to be feared. It is to be understood.

Our soul waits for the Lord. He is our help and our shield.
Psalm 33:20

Fog… in a dictionary, one of its meanings is ….A daze or state of confusion.

I thought about having lived in a fog – as in using the word fog to describe my confused state of being when I gambled. For a long time, I knew it was an excuse to gamble.. It was a way to get around facing reality. I could tell people I must have been living in a fog when I gambled and they would understand - I did not know exactly what I was doing.
Did something cloud my mind? Did I want something to keep me from facing reality so I could continue to gamble and make excuses for it?
Yes, the fog was a convenient excuse for me. But in reality, I had to face what I had done. No amount of fog could make it acceptable.

So why would I even write about it? Because I am determined to warn others, if I can, and let them know what it is like to be a compulsive gambler, who would use any excuse possible to continue this self destructive and abusive addiction.
The fog can be intentional. We want to escape from reality and we go into some type of self –imposed state where we hide from the hard stuff in life. We can just say we were in a fog and did not know it was so bad.

Or the fog can be out of our control during those times when our lives are lost in a ball of confusion controlled by the addiction. We get caught up in the action of gambling and relate it to being in a fog, or maybe the addiction controlled us so we felt somewhat removed form our own innate ability to control our behavior? You know, we were living in the fog… it wasn’t clear. Something made us do things we wouldn’t normally do.
Or maybe we didn’t know just how powerful a compulsive gambling addiction could really be?

I am convinced, people who become addicted to gambling, don’t even know its becoming an addiction, until they reach a point where they are hooked. The thrill and excitement keep them engaged in repeated behaviors which become habits. The element of money is in the mix, and when the losses add up, the reality starts to haunt you. But the diehard gambler stays in the game, remaining in the fog for as long as possible… mainly because it’s just damn easier than dealing with the situation. Most gamblers don’t want to face their mistakes and will ignore it for as long as possible.

Recovery from gambling means we deal with the hard stuff. We no longer hide behind the fog and cannot dodge reality any longer -we must own up to the consequences. It is all very clear.

The state of clarity has arrived. The fog has lifted.

And so today, I will not gamble.
In recovery,
Marina

Do what you can do, and pray for what you cannot do.

My Mother, My Confidence. Our lady of Czestochowa, pray for us.
(The Black Madonna of Poland)

Compulsive gambling has consequences. Serious consequences. Unfortunately, most gamblers don't even begin to realize how serious the addiction can become or what you will face as a result of it.

There is emotional damage as a gambler is left with feelings of guilt and remorse. There is nothing worse than knowing you are responsible for the mess you have made and it could have been avoided. Life is hard, but it's even harder when you make stupid decisions.

Gambling damages relationships, because lying and even stealing can be quite common for a desperate gambler. The person left holding the bag is the person who made the mistakes- the gambler. It would have been much easier to walk away before it gets out of control but most gamblers get so caught up in the action and addiction, it's far too late by the time you realize the consequences are serious. I talk to people who have lost so much - their spouse or partner, their home, their savings accounts, their self-respect, their dignity, and the list goes on, and on. They wish they had never gambled. They live with regret. They pay the price for a very long time.

Excessive gambling often results in financial chaos. The debt is usually too big to pay it off with a loan or a credit card. Thus, the gambler is left with years of financial hardships and struggles. The amount of debt varies but statistics say a compulsive gambler will not reach out for help until they have accumulated debts at $60,000 or higher. Who would ever imagined all of those marathon casino trips would add up to an over whelming amount of money. Sad but true, the person who gambles recklessly might have to pay for it many years after the gambling stops. I recently saw a documentary on gambling intervention where a woman stole $ 900,000 from a catholic church where she worked and lost all of it gambling. Its hard to imagine $900,000.... and this money is gone, with nothing to show for it.

Go to a casino on a weekend night and you might not be able to even find a machine or a place at the tables to play. People are jam- packed into the casino just waiting to spend their money. How sad to think so many people in the world will risk their money. If you risk your money in a casino, there is a good chance you will lose it.

The gaming industry exists to make money, not to pay money. They will lure you in and do everything possible to keep you coming back. They care nothing about you, only your money. Gamblers are nothing but a revenue statistic.

Don't believe the commercials you might see which show the people smiling and having a good time, as most people are losing money when they gamble. If they say you will get a free meal, it will be only after you pay for it by giving them so much of your money in an attempt to win. Nothing is free at a casino, nothing. Yet, people flock to them in the hopes of hitting a big one, and it doesn't happen.

Keep your money for the important things in life. Gamblers eventually lose much more than they ever could have won.. It's just the way it is... and anyone who doesn't believe it will learn the hard way.

And so today, I will not gamble.
In recovery,
Marina

Ignorance is the night of the mind, without a moon or star.

"From the end of the earth, I cry unto three, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I"
Psalm 61:2

Gambling help at:
http://au.groups.yahoo.com/group/kazscoffeelounge/

AKA …..The Sucker

My name is Mimi and I am a compulsive gambler. This is one of the hardest entries for me to write in this BLOG because deep down inside, I have often considered myself a fairly intelligent person yet I was an absolute fool, a sucker, for the casinos.

I liked to believe casino gambling was an even playing field. I could walk into a casino and have as good a chance as anyone else of winning, but did they know it was me? Yes, they did know me, the minute I walked into the door and put my player card into a machine.
I was a regular, a frequent player. Did they keep up with my wins and losses? You better know they did. No one from the gaming industry wants to answer questions about player cards, because it’s far too damaging to their image. I know the answer. Did the casino monitor my player card? Yes they did. Do they monitor all players – yes, they do. I recently became friends with a man who worked at a casino for 25 years. I asked him about player cards and he only responded to say ‘Why do you think casinos have player cards”?

Anyone who plays slots deserves to know the truth. Slots are set by a random generator and if you don’t play the machine at a time when its cycle is ready to pay out, you will not win, no matter how much money you pump into a machine. You could sit there for 24 hours and be an even a bigger fool by somehow believing there must be a payoff soon. A payoff can happen just once a month, or even less. Gamblers who continue to try are like people hoping for some kind of salvation or redemption, and all too often, it never comes. It’s even worse when a player card comes into the equation because if you have not lost enough, you will not win. The casino has control. At any moment, a computerized machine can be manipulated. Don’t ever forget it. Slot machines are computerized machines controlled by server machines. The server is in the control room with the technicians who can change percentage payouts of the machines at any time. Casinos have people who monitor players and it just isn’t for security reasons. They are watching and controlling the winnings. They may not watch each individual machine and turn them on or off, but player cards surely have something to do with the odds.. if they can load free slot play and cash onto a player card, they can certainly do other things with those cards.

In recent months, I have studied and become more knowledgeable of the gaming industry. Gambling is an industry created to makes money by offering people a CHANCE to win, which is often controlled by the casino revenues and internal payout systems. While you may think it’s your turn to win, a casino may have an entirely different position on the matter, depending on the state of their revenues. They can change the stakes, at any given time. They can decide they need more money from you. They can change payout percentages. maybe you're heard people say - they have tightened up the machines?

Some may believe Lady Luck has a hand in casino gambling but my personal opinion is Lady Luck has nothing to do with whether you win or lose, once you become a regular player at a casino. Casinos “profile” their players. Believe it or not, but they know you and how you play. They know your winnings and your losses. They know how much you will spend. And I’m willing to say they will let you win when you reach your biggest loss limits, because they keep track of you and they want you to come back. After all, you lose more than you win, right? If you don’t believe me, ask yourself why a player card really matters? So they can give you free stuff? I doubt it. It matters so they can keep you in the grips of gambling.

You can easily become a prisoner and a fool to a casino. The addiction to gambling plays into the plans of the casino to manipulate you even more. It has taken me years to figure this out and I am sure, every compulsive gambler eventually becomes a revenue statistic for a casino.

You can win, when they let you win, make no mistake, there is nothing random about winning It is about YOU and what you're willing to spend in order to win. Too many gamblers never figure it out yet the patterns are very similar. Most gamblers start off winning and they continue to win, until they are hooked. Then there are losing streaks that take back twice as much as a gambler has won. Do you really think this is a coincidence? A casino may advertise large payouts but are these consistent each month? No, they are not.
Look at any state gaming commission web site and you should be able to locate casino payout statistics in that state.

I do not like the word SUCKER. It has very negative connotations associated with it. It is hard for me to even say it and even harder to admit I was one…but in reality, there is no way around it. I played into the hands of the gaming industry. There aren’t enough jackpots to pay me back and statistics say I have now reached a point where my losses far outweigh an occasional win. I fell for it, all of it. The casinos threw the bait and I took it. I was a sucker. Please don’t let it happen to you.

In order to live the rest of my life in peace, I know I will not let it happen ever again, because I will not set foot inside a casino. I will not be a sucker who gives my money to a controlled chance.

And so today, I will not gamble.
In recovery,
Marina

Draw near to God and he will draw near to you.