Learn the lesson. How hard can it be?

Why do we make the same mistakes in life? Do we want to ignore the little voice that tells us what we are doing is wrong? You can be sure I wanted to ignore the voice … the voice of reason.

It is because I wanted to gamble. Reasoning and rationale have no place in the midst of an addiction. I wanted to gamble, I wanted to play the machines, I wanted to escape, I wanted to get the excited feeling …want, want, want….. It was always about wanting to gamble and not thinking about the consequences, the results, the pain and anxiety of dealing with the aftermath, the regret of doing it again and the disappointment in myself for having made the same mistakes over and over again.

Parents expect their kids to learn a lesson when they punish them for doing something wrong. But adults often don’t learn from mistakes and chose to ignore the obvious, just like I did with my gambling adduction. I knew I was making another mistake each time I went back but I kept subjecting myself to the same pain, and personal injury, with no one else to blame except me.

Compulsive Gambling is a serious addiction and it requires hard work and commitment to beat it. It required me to interject reasoning and rationale into my thought processes, especially when I started to think about what I wanted to do.
There it is again... … WANT…

Just because we want to do it doesn’t negate the need to stop. If the end result is too painful then we have to force ourselves to think about the consequences, If its too painful we have to acknowledge we are responsible. No one makes a person gamble and anyone who says they HAD to gamble is making excuses for not being able to say no to the addiction.

Pass up the WANT for something better.. the long term is more important than the short term ...

It really is that simple… say NO. No, I will not do it again and I won’t t make excuses or ignore what I have learned about this addiction, my old patterns of thinking and what I need to do to make my life better.

It is a choice, it is a decision we make, and it is not an incurable illness … It is not letting the WANT control the actions..

It is having the strength and determination to act with reasoning and rationale, instead of doing what I want, for some short-term pleasure or escape…

And so today, I will not gamble.
In recovery,
Marina

Gods ways are not our Ways.